Monday, September 26, 2005

Whatever I feel like hating...GOSH

...You sit in the window seat on an airplane and get up to use the restroom 4 or more times on a 2 hour flight from NY to Florida. Who does this? Who can possible pee or poo that many times in 2 hours? I realize you rushed to be the first one on the plane so maybe you were trapped for 2.5 instead of 2 hours, but more than 4 times? This happens on every flight no matter where I’m going. Try not drinking that 64 oz of Diet Coke. And, who the hell drinks 64 ounces of diet coke? No wonder you had to buy two tickets for the flight. I’ve been on an 8 hour flight to Europe and didn’t get up once. 2 hour flight, I’ll give you one time, use it wisely, because from now on when I’m in the aisle seat and you have to go, all you're gonna hear from me is I hate you.

...You think Bon Jovi encompasses all you need to know for 80’s music. I find this more sad than aggravating, but hate you nonetheless. The 80’s gave us such artistic masterpieces like The Safety Dance and varied artists from the Thompson Twins to Mister Mister and all you can come up with is Bon Jovi? You obviously think Sutton Place and McFadden’s are “da bomb” (for those of you not from NY, picture the cheesiest Frat party from your college days, then put it in a bar), but seriously trying coming up with your own personality. You know what? I no longer feel sorry for you, I simply flat out hate you.

...You walk by someone smoking a cigarette outside and make a face of utter disgust and wave your hand in front of your face or hold your nose. What do you think is going to happen to you by walking past a smoker? I can understand the complaints if indoors, but we’re talking about being outside on a sidewalk or street where you can actually get out of the way of smoke. What do you think is coming out of all those trucks and cars on a constant basis? You can somehow accept that, but not a tiny stream of smoke that you can barely smell? Not to mention that you are not a child, making faces in disgust is certainly becoming for a 45 yr old woman. You gotta love NY, where people are so indulged in themselves and their “art”, that they never actually become adults.

...You complain that it’s too cold in the office. Must every woman in an office complain that it’s too cold? Room temperature is 68 to 70 degrees, in the summer the A/C is on to keep it, 68 to 70 degrees. Don’t complain that it’s too cold, put on a sweater, 68 degrees is actually a little too warm for my taste, but you see I can't sit around in my boxers, otherwise I would, I’m already down to as little clothing as I can, but you, you can layer. Also, what’s with turning the heat up to 80 or 85 in the winter? Yes it’s cold OUTSIDE, you need to counter this with tropical heat? When it’s 85 in the summer, you turn on the AC so why on earth would turn up the heat to 85 in the winter, that’s completely illogical and idiotic, I hate you.

...You hear someone sneeze and make a stupid comment about how they must be “coming down with something”. So how old are you? Have you never sneezed before? Lots of things make people sneeze other than being in sick. In fact, I have never sneezed when I was sick, so actually what you say makes absolutely no sense and is just flat out annoying. Have you ever smelled pepper? Here try it, oh you must be coming down with something, a little case of me hating you.

...You have a belly that hangs over the top of your pants, yet you continue to wear belly shirts. I don’t think we need any more detail on this one do we? Really? No…not really.

7 comments:

Angry in Austin said...

I hate you because you think we all care about your opinions and the words of wisdom the spew from your mouth. SHUT UP, would you! No one cares you are a Mormon, no one cares what you ate last night at your in-laws, no one cares that you hit snooze three times this morning before turning on the TV to watch your favorite re-run of Little House on the Prairie. YOU’RE LIFE IS NOT THAT INTERESTING.

Your #1 Fan

jessie said...

I pee that many times in an hour! dunno why. i don't however annoy others with it, i can hold it, it's not like i am a 4 year old! besides i don't fly when i can avoid it, i get air sick. It does seem strange that only overweight people drink diet drinks, how ironic!
You are complaining about belly shirts? add short shorts and mini skirts to the list! if i had a picture i would send it to you of the most horrifying offender in my area. she's 15 and is at least 200 pounds, about 5'5" and shaped like a butternut squash! Not only does she wear belly shirts but tube tops and short shorts and mini skirts. All you see is her big fat dimply ass hanging out the bottom and her big fat belly hanging over her waistband. It should be illegal to dress like that! i hate her!!!!!!

Nikky Egland said...

Ugh, you know, even in my skinniest days I would not wear a belly shirt, so why would a fat person do it? BTW, that angry in austin person obviously found your life interesting enough to research your blog and write a very detailed comment about it....

Doofi said...

my theory on angry in austin is that he's either adding his own i hate you, actually thinks I'm mormon or is someone I know. I say all three, although I'm not a Mormon.

I hate you if you have a big dimpled ass and people outside of your home have seen it. Don't you understand it looks like cottage cheese? I'm not claiming i'm perfect, but do us all the favor and keep that thing indoors.

jessie said...

to the question about word verification, which seems to annoy you enough to blog and comment about it, people actually spam on this thing. yes you have read that correctly, the word verification helps prevent ramdom spamming. another blog i read at times actually had 13 spam messages posted when i went to leave a comment. the next time i went back to the blog he had the word verification turned on too.
so here's a question for ya, which is more irritating, spam or word verification? i have to agree though, the letters are sometimes difficult to decipher.
i agree that her fat ass should remain indoors, however i am starting to think that her mom locks her out because she's never home. all the kids make fun of her too. they tease the hell out of her when they see her, her nickname is meatball! be glad you didn't have the pleasure of seeing her this summer strutting down the street in her orange bikini. i am scarred for life!!!!!!!!

Doofi said...

thanks for the clarification Jesse, i had no idea spammers infested blogs. I'll have to address the spammers at a later date.

although the nickname meatball sounds incredibly cruel, it is really hysterical. I fear for the day I have kids that start calling the others names like meatball....do i laugh? how do i punish that? or worse what if my kid is meatball???? either way i'm laughing now, karma will get me later....

jessie said...

you hate stupid people? check out today's post! too lengthy to get into on here but i'll say this, it'll send your asshole into an uproar!!!!