Saturday, October 29, 2005

Hate Me If You Can

...You run a major airline and have people board the wrong plane. How on earth can you possbily make this mistake? And of course who else would this happen to other than me? You're response of course is, I take full responsibility, what is that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that going to give me back the 2 hours wasted boarding the wrong plane, deboarding and then reboarding another plane? What really blows my mind are the people that raced off the first plane to only stand in line for the next one, what is with people and there rushing from plane to plane? The only rushing I'm doing, is making sure I'm first in line to hate you, all of you.

...You are annoying foreigner airplane travelor. You are typically eastern european, you have some sort of odor emanating from you, you travel in groups of no less than three, you refuse to check any bags no matter how many or how large, when you board the plane you stand in the aisle with a look of utter confusion as you don't even attempt to put your full oversized luggage in the overhead compartments, you simply wait for a flight attendent to do the work for you, you notice this is a poorly written sentence and I hate you.

...You drive me home from the airport at 6:30 in the morning and insist on talking to me. Dude, I just flew in overnight and have gotten little sleep here, stop talking to me! I don't want to make conversation about how you got stuck in traffic so now you can't bet on horses. Do you think I care? Why are you bragging to me about how you won $300 last year, is that impressive? Just take me home so I can hate you.

...You walk down the aisle of an airplane to use the lavatory for the 17th time and have to touch every single seat. Not only do you touch every seat, but you push down a little each time to wake every single person up. Thank you tard, now we're all awake so we can all hate you properly.

...You are the driver that got lost on the way to JFK. Someone there took my reservation so you had advance notice of where we're going. But that means nothing, the whole purpose of your company, your existence, is to drive people to 1 of 2 airports, you do this every day, several times a day, how on earth can you get lost? And what's with that cough, you're scaring me, is that the bird flu? I hate you.

1 comment:

elvira black said...

Not to stereotype but I'm not all that fond of a lot of European tourists in NYC. They are very rude and self-absorbed and love to stand around in groups blocking the sidewalk and talking loudly in their native tongue. In the cramped environs of an airplane this must be 10 times worse. Hate on!