Monday, October 03, 2005

I just called to say I hate you

...You leave long winded voicemails. This is really annoying, here’s a tip before you call someone, have an idea of what you want to say, then you can leave a message and if you have nothing to say, why the hell are you calling? The work voicemails are the worst. You get one of two types, the people who say this is so and so, call me back. Now you have no idea what they want or why they called, you then call them back only to have to say, well I need to check on that now, so I need to call you back. The other kind you get are these windbags that go on and on and on mentioning things that have no relevance to you or the purpose of the call, like oh I had to wait in such a long line for my chicken sandwich then I got to the register and realized I had only $2 on me, so I had to go the atm, then come back and had to wait in another line so now I’m a little late in getting back to you, you can call me back in the next 5 minutes, but then I’ll be going down to accounting for a little bit, I’ll be back in my office at around 3, but I have a call at 3:15 so try to get me in there somewhere, Oh I’m at a new number its 212-555-$#@^. So you just left a 14 minute message, then you leave your number at the end in some incoherent voice that I’m certain was not any known language. These are the only two types of voicemail messages that exist, that’s it. If you could only leave a clear concise message, briefly stating your intentions and phone number, well then I wouldn’t have to hate you.

...You call and don’t leave messages. You called for some purpose right? what was it? if you don’t have a purpose in calling, you won’t leave a message so why did you call in the first place? The whole you should see my missed call excuse is garbage. I don’t care if you have wait through the stupid outgoing message that says press # to page this person, but honestly, what’s a page going to do? the phone was just ringing, they didn’t answer, you think oh well the page will get them, it’s the same freaking thing…besides paging is soooo 93 wanna be drug dealer. Oh look I’m paging you now……I hate you.

...You call me after 4:00 on a Friday afternoon expecting to get work done. You just suck. You are either such a penis that you enjoy pissing people off or you are that clueless. If you’re new to the corporate lifestyle, Friday afternoons are the oh so sacred buffer between the work week and your weekend. you need about 4 hours to ease yourself down from the week, after your Friday lunch, you take no calls, you email your friends, you read cnn’s and NYTimes’ websites 7 times, you listen to your ipod, text your friends that aren’t office monkeys, etc etc. But one thing you never do is try to accomplish anything at all, it’s Friday people, don’t call me and I hate you.

2 comments:

jessie said...

it seems like every idiot that calls me is a windbag! especially my husbands boss!!!! he just goes on and on and never reaches the point before the machine cuts him off, then he calls back to leave another long message. shut up or get to your point.
I hate when someone calls you at home and asks where you are. they leave themselves open to verbal attack, and i hold no punches with these types!

Nikky Egland said...

Amen to all of that!