Thursday, October 06, 2005

In A Gadda da Hate you

...You speak a foreign language and feel the need to shout. Why is it that just about every language other than English must be spoken in shout form. Some are angry, some are pleasant, but all are loud. I’m on the train up to CT and I’m listening to my ipod reading my GQ, as any normal heterosexual male would be doing, and I hear this shouting. Peaking my interest I sit up to look and about 5 or 6 seats in front of me are three Hispanic women having a “conversation”. I have to use conversation in quotes because to anyone else on the train this was a full fledge argument, not to mention I heard their speaking/shouting over the music from my ipod. It almost scared me into not hating them.

...You leave a delivery menu under my door and then say you don’t deliver to that neighborhood. You are the one that left the menu under MY door, you were advertising your business for me to call you for delivery. Me being a brainwashed consumer, decided to give it a shot, I read the menu, decide what I want, I’m getting hungry so I call to place my order. Much to my dismay the following transpired: “uh sa, no deliva, too fa.” But you left a menu under my door. “Sa wrissen to me, no deliva, you no call back” I just want to order some food and…”sa, I hates you” ah touché my asian friend, touché.

...You are fascinated when you walk by a celebrity and then proceed to tell your friend next to you all of the celebrities you’ve seen in Manhattan. If you are anywhere besides Manhattan or LA, I might let this slide, but not here, not today. I’m in the elevator and “Big” from sex and the city walks in (side note: not so big in real life), then he gets out at his floor and these two little hyenas start going crazy and comparing notes about what celebrities they’ve seen, seeing Matt Damon jogging in the park or Kate Moss blowing the burny in a bar. You know what, they’re just people, in fact, typically annoying obnoxious people that think they are too good for you to smell their shit. That is of course excluding Mandy Moore, I definitely have an unhealthy and unfounded infatuation with Mandy, oh sweet Mandy….but to the cackling hyenas, I hate you.

...You have a tattoo of Chinese lettering and have no idea what it means or have the meaning totally wrong. I don’t know how many people I’ve come across that have Chinese lettering, then I say oh that’s pretty cool what does it mean? The response is always I have no clue it just looked cool or it means peace. Apparently in China you can spell the word peace 1000 different ways. I just got some ink done myself, خاشيچ. Translation: I hate you.

1 comment:

jessie said...

i despise loud people. i dislike my sister in law because she needs to scream everything, though this is only one of the hundred reasons for hating her. do these asses need that much attention or think they are that important that their conversation must be heard above everything else?
i can understand your loathing of people who spaz about celeb's. i know several famous ball players and every time they have been to my home the neighbors and all come and ask for autographs and invite themselves over or sit outside and stare at the house. have some damn class for heavens sake! i do not have these people over for them to gawk at or harass, they come to visit, mostly because they are friends of the family. good greif. the one person came over recently because my husband had done extensive work in his home and left something there and was kind enough to return it. get a life people!