Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ain't Nothing But A 'G Hate

...You proceed to “explain” the entire menu at a restaurant when I ask you if there are any specials. You see, I asked if there are specials, you said no, but our specialties are blha blah blah. Let me explain. Specials are things NOT on the menu that only you can tell me, most restaurants do have them. Specialties are things that ARE on the menu that you claim to be your best items. Get it, if I want the specialty, I’ll ask but now, now I’ve lost my apetite and will only have some hate.

...You claim to have been abducted by aliens. I will explain this one time, plain and simple, you were never abducted nor has anyone else. You were simply given a roofi or ether or something, blacked out and then were anally raped. I think the aliens would gain all the knowledge they need from one anal probing, there is no need to return for more and more, they do however, return to hate you.

...You are the MTA and program the metro card machines to work on your terms. Yeah a train is pulling in, please swipe again, train’s doors are still open, please swipe again, I’m trying to catch the train, please hate again.

...You are walking home and are about 4 avenues away and see me who lives close to you and insist on speaking to me. Why did you do that? I was minding my business listening to my ipod, checking out all the NYU girls on the way home and you, you had go and throw that all away. We’re acquaintances, get it? I don’t have enough to say to you for 4 avenues, that’s a good ten minutes maybe more if the lights aren’t timed in my favor, I don’t want to hear about your job, your boyfriend or lack thereof all I want to do is hate.

...You come by my office at 5:30 and tell me its late and time for me to go home. Um yeah, I don’t know you, I don’t work with or for you so why are you saying this to me? Contrary to you, I actually have work and I actually, as heartbreaking as it is to say, have sold out and am trying to make some coin but all the while I'm still trying to make some hate.

...You are the DMV. Yes how cliché to hate the DMV, but must the entire experience be as cliché as hating it? Why does everyone else there have pages and pages and pages of paperwork, 17 forms of ID, all I want is my damn license renewed. When o when are they going to come to their idiotic senses and have a separate line for license renewals, a separate line for registrations a separate line for hating you.

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