Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Grumpy Old Hate

...You complain about things saying they were better when you were young. Its called change, get used to it. You'd think by the time you reach middle age you would understand this concept, but you don't. Why on earth would you want to live in the past? No TV, no computers, cell phones, instant delivery of any product, life would suck, you'd actually have to do things for yourself instead of being hated.

...You are 75 and dress like you are living in the dust bowl. Just because you were born in 1930 doesn't mean you need to dress like it. You are about 4 feet 9 inches tall, you have 7 scarves around your head and cankles that are thicker than your thighs stuffed in wooden block shoes. seriously, even if you're poor you don't need to dress like an aged old gypsy from 1937, no you can just be hated by me.

...You have ever said, when I was your age that only cost me a nickel. Really Alan Greenspan? Because your annual income was $120? Econ 101 - inflation. Wait not even econ 101, its called having lived for 10 years and you understand everything gets more expensive, unless it's sold at walmart in which case it's hated.

...You say Happy New Year to someone on like January 28th. This is pre-emptive hate, because I know it's going to happen. The time limit runs out January 5th. After that NO MAS. It's like having a birthday in March and someone saying happy birthday June 15th. Let it go or let it hate.

...You refer to where you grew up or live as "county". When did saying the name of the town in which live become too detailed? I know why you say that, you obviously live in the one ghetto part of "the county" or you want people to believe you live in the rich town. What's your obsession with people thinking you're rich? Rich people are pretentious, obnoxious and hate you.

...You live in an apartment building, get a real christmas tree, then drag it through every inch of hallway and staircase to allow the dead needles to fall everywhere and then don't clean it up. I see, you are waaay to good to clean up your own mess, let the janitor clean it, after all he wants to keep his job doesn't he? Oh yes, you definately deserve to be the only people left in the building paying $200 a month rent because of your rent control lease from 1943. You should however be concerned, you didn't notice the lease rider that states you are evicted if I hate you.

...You are a January gym hog and sit your naked fat ass down right in the middle of the bench in the locker room. You disgusting sloth. Not only is your bare ass on the bench, but it's in the middle so no one else can site down to say, tie their sneakers, to make matters worse, this is pre-shower, so let's amend that to read your naked fat sweaty ass that is hated by me.

3 comments:

doc said...

impressive hating...

Anonymous said...

I HATE AUDITORS....any form of an auditor. Don't question what i'm doing.... just mind your own fucking business. Not only do you ask me the most ridiculous questions....but i actually have to act like i care what your asking and give you respect. The respect part is the most difficult b/c one of you fuckers stole the last piece of pizza in the kitchen last week as i stayed late at work to answer your stupid fucking list of questions. Who the FUCK said we had to feed you too??? I if were president you would be using the outhouse at the construction site across the street and brownbagging it....

just had to get that out. thanks

jessie said...

i hate the pretentious too but i despise the people who came from nothing and forget where they came from sneering at those who are in the shoes they were once in. they're worse than the ones who were born into money!
hope naked ass dude wiped correctly!