Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Hate of Kahn

...You use a tissue to pick your nose. You are not fooling anyone here Ringo. Just because you place a thin barrier between your long finger nailed finger, doesn't mean it snot a pick. Your finger is two knuckles deep for crying out loud. I'm not by any means condoning the public pick, after all you need to put it somewhere, where you will then be hated.

...You are on an airplane and someone behind you is constantly kicking your seat and instead of saying something you give a peek between the two seats. If you didn't "recline" your seat then my knees wouldn't hit your seat every time I take a breathe, what advantage do you get by that "recline" anyway? But then the little peek behind between the two seats, I look up and see an eye with a look of death in it, apparently you didn't notice my eyes with a look of hate in them.

...You are holding a place in line for more than one person. No, no, no - the rules are one person, one spot, that's it. I'm not going to wait in this line and then as you get to the front suddenly there are 10 more people in front of me. You might as well give headsies for backsies, yeah that was popular in like second grade, you're 40 grow up or grow hated.

...You get in my way when I'm running across the platform from the local to the express subway. You F'n moose, move yourself and those three other people you call legs out of the way. I'm obviously running across the platform, just like everyone else and you are obviously running towards food, oh wait maybe you are running towards my hate.

...You are in a movie theater and feel the need to sit up straight with perfect posture for the first time your life. No one naturally sits up straight like that, I mean it's as though you have a board stapled to your back, how is that humanly possible? And why is it that you must sit on front of me? This is bullshit, I have this big round oafish head in front me now blocking my view of hating you.

...You are at the movies, in stadium seating, and cross your legs. Yes I WOULD like your shoe in my face, that would be a pleasureable evening. I don't know what you gave you the idea that I have a foot fettish, but I don't. I have a hate fettish and I'm all over you.

...You are selling popcorn at a movie theater and tell me it's only a quarter to upgrade from a bag that can fit me to a bucket that can fit the lady blocking me from crossing the subway platform. What is it with your obsession for that extra quarter, I've already bent over for the 5 bucks it's costs for a little plastic baggie of popcorn and 3 bucks for the thimble of water, but that's all I wanted, I can see the sign that says it's only a quarter more for the gargantuan size, but I didn't ask for that, just like you didn't ask for hate, but you got it.

1 comment:

where it says name, I put my name? said...

really? people can tell I'm picking my nose? Damn, I thought I found a nose picking loohold