Monday, January 09, 2006

The hills are alive, with the sound of hate

...You are at the supermarket and paying in cash. We really need to establish a cash only line and leave the rest of the aisles for people who have actually arrived in this century. If you are using cash, you must be penalized for your slowness. That's it, count out the exact change, one, two, three dollars and 14 hates.

...You are at the supermarket and refuse to use the little divider thing. Yes you are too good to use the divider, I get it, wait until the person in front is completely finished, bagged and out the door before you start to unload your cart. Better hurry up though, I'm about to unload my hate.

...You are woman that sits outside my office and decided to bend over to look into a drawer for 10 minutes right in front of me. I may as well just offer my resignation now because I stared for 10 minutes and 1 second, getting totally busted. At least you smiled, wait I don't hate you at all....yet.

...You are the loud Russian guy that sits in the office next to me. You are just additional evidence to my theory of Eastern European languages, they cannot under any circumstances be spoken below screaming level. I'm just at a complete loss, we're in a place of business here and you're screaming into the phone or just talking out loud, I don't know and I don't get it. There is however one thing I can understand, how I can just hate a man.

...You work at Starbucks and charge $1.99 for a MEDIUM coffee and insist on giving me the penny back. Dude you cannot be serious, it's a penny, they are worthless. The only reason they remain in circulation is to completely annoy me, price the damn coffee be exactly 2 dollars because there is no reason for you to yell to me that I forgot to get my change, the only thing I forgot was my hate.

...You are at the supermarket and insist on tying the little plastic baggies that hold your fruit or vegetables. Not only do you insist on tying them, which wouldn't bother me all too much, but you wait until you get to the checkout counter and as you remove them from your cart you tie each bag, triple knots. I don't waste time tying stupid baggies that are just going into another bag, I waste my time hating you.

2 comments:

jessie said...

the supermarket checkouts are the worst! even worse yet is the self checkouts! every item you scan there's some problem that you have to wait 10 minutes for some idiot teenager to come and correct! i hate grocery shopping!

Anonymous said...

yeah...that's the worst. i hate self checkouts. especially when you have to check yourself out.