Monday, January 16, 2006

Out of the Races and Onto the Hate

...You slow down to virtually a complete stop before making a right hand turn. I must have missed the day in driver's ed where they told us we have to stop before turning. I must have also missed the chapter in the driver's ed manual that says when you stop before turning, you also don't have to use a turn signal because either way, you still get hated.

...You place your shoes/sneakers on the locker room benches in the gym. Go right ahead your dirty sneakers need to have a seat, I don't need to sit down to tie my sneakers, nope, I can bend over to tie them to give you show. You are obviously the cause for a sign that says, "one person per shower only" if not you are definately the cause of my hate.

...You come inches from killing me while I'm in a crosswalk. I know, I know, you getting to the next red light 1/10th of second sooner is so much more valueable than a human life, especially mine. Forget that I clearly had the right of way and even if I didn't, I'M A FUCKING PERSON and you are driving a machine of death, well I'm going to retaliate, I bought myself a machine of hate.

...You are working behind the counter of let's say Starbucks, you see a line of about 15 people, yet you feel your time is better spent making sure there are enough extra fat filled crumb cakes behind the counter rather than help out. I don't understand the other person working either, why are you doing all the work while the fat ass is hiding in back "getting food" to put on display? How can you accept that without accepting my hate?

...You are on mass transit and feel the need to have your most intimate conversations via cell phone, speaking at the top of your lungs for all to hear. I really can't believe I had to listen to you explain how "shonda" has herpes and you don't want to touch her with a ten foot poll. Most people tend to have their "I'm in public voice" and their "I'm at home so I can say anything" voice. That's most people though, I of course only have an I hate you voice.

...You are some crotchedy old wasp lady that asked the black train conducter if he was upset because he had to work today. Having to hear you say that made me extremely uncomfortable, but you outdid yourself when you asked if all his friends had off. Rather presumptuous wouldn't you say wasp lady? Don't worry, you managed to get an entire train car to hate you.

...You work in a supermarket and are bagging groceries. I know you're job sucks, but please don't take it out on my food. Bread goes on top, not below cans and containers of yogurt. You are either really stupid or really spiteful. In either case you should be attending a training course in how to avoid my hate.

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