Monday, February 13, 2006

All we are saying, is give hate a chance

...You call someone a monument to courage because in the face adveristy he was able to play basketball. Yes how courageous to PLAY a sport. Let's see, in life there are two basic functions that humans do, work and play. Work is what sucks, it's hard to get up everday to sit in front of computer hating, but this person, ok so he was injured or sick or whatever, but he's playing, not working, get it? It's a game, it's playing, and it's hating.

...You stop me on the street to listen to you for 30 seconds to get me to sign some pointless petition to reform heathcare. Kid, you're cute, seriously, when I was your age, I thought I could actually make a difference too, I thought the world didn't have to be this way, I don't need money, I just need to help people. Let me tell you something, I'm lucky to have realized the truth at such a young age of 28, I no longer care about making a difference, I care about taking as much of it as I can, call me defeated if you will but I'll call you hated.

...You are at the register in a drug store and are cutting your coupon out of the circular while you are holding up the line while your $1.99 item has been rung up. Yeah that 20 cents you are saving is definately worth the 15 minutes I had to wait, time value of money little old lady, move along, my time is obviously worth more than your 20 cents and not only that, but you paid with what I think were all pennies. PENNIES? Are you kidding me? From now on, we really need to establish a line in stores dedicated to the hopelessly slow molasses of people that somehow have made it this far in their life without getting hated by me.

...You are a self indulgent 30 something living in Manhattan. You hang out in coffee shops talking to your pointless friends about your pointless life. Is it necessary to discuss the evolution of the color of your hair? That person sitting across from doesn't give a shit, all she's doing is waiting for moment when you take a breath to start talking about herself. For once I'd love to hear you discuss something other than yourselves and your pointlessness, how about, is the first amendment still relevant in the fox news world? Maybe if you discuss that, I wouldn't have to hate you.

...You give a guest in your house or apartment a towel to use that is the size of a washclothe. This thing barely covers my sac 'n crack and you expect me to dry my whole body with it? I can't even wind this thing up so I can whip you with it, now all I can do is hate you.

...You are of italian ethnicity and are watching a mob movie of some sort and suddenly you start talkin like yuz from da bronx er sumthin. You're just an idiot, really. First off, you're not even all Italian, second the only place in the Bronx that you've been is Yankee Stadium and third I hate you.

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