Monday, February 06, 2006

Skinny Legs and Hate

...You allow your dog to shit on the sidewalk. No cleaning it up is one thing, but even when you clean it up, it leaves a stain on cement, just like the stain in your tighties. Every 20 feet or so there's a patch of dirt with a tree in it, let your dog shit there, still clean it up but then I won't have to walk through your dog's skid marks to hate you.

...You don't tell someone to go ahead and eat when their food come before yours at a restaurant. You see this is common courtesy here, I won't eat, but I want you to ask, you at least owe me that, after all you are the cause of my hate.

...You see me on the street and expect to get the stop and chat. I know it's so very seinfeld and curb your enthusiasm, but it's so true. Yes you are a very nice person, but really, what are we going to talk about, I've got my business, you've got yours, let's just smile, say hello, how are you (without answering of course), then move on, save the conversation for when we're not hating.

...You are an established musician that has been around for years and years and then refuse to play your best songs at a concert. No one wants to hear the new stuff, it blows, just like you. Now play the songs I know, they don't have to be the biggest ones, just the older ones, that's what made you famous, your new stuff just makes you hated.

...You say your "art", in whatever form, is avante garde. So this is code for absolute shit right? Does anyone actually site there an prefer to listen to some yoko onoish chik or ever worse, dude, scream or an all white canvas with a green line on it or simply an blank canvas, kind of like the brains of people that claim to appreciate this "art" instead of being like me and hating you.

...You are the girl that I met at last year's corporate challenge run. I know you cheated and didn't run that race, you were just standing at finish line waiting for people from your company, i mean who runs and doesn't sweat, especially you, you don't look like a runner. But I hate you more for being an idiot, like when we to lunch that time and I said something was obnoxious and you replied saying, yeah that's of noxious. Um yeah, move along dum dum, it's time for me to hate.

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