Friday, February 03, 2006

The State of the Hate

...You think someone is serious when intoxicated and says they'll get you a job at your company. You don't go out much, that's obvious. When someone is out drinking and says oh yeah I'll look into getting you a job, it means they will take zero action to actually try to get you one, but perhaps if they come across an openning, they'll submit your resume. You DO NOT under any circumstances, call and email 7 times a day for 6 weeks straight asking, anything yet? Yeah there's something, but it isn't a job, it's hate.

...You are at an intersection I am turning right, you are in the opposite direction turning left and for some reason think you have the right of way and attempt to go first almost crashing into me. Former offenders were the minivans, but lucky for everyone on the roads, the minivans have been traded for monstrocity SUVs with you driving who thinks the road is all yours and has no concern for anyone else on the road or traffic laws. The worst part is that you actually get mad and throw up your hands in frustration because I'm following the rules and hating you.

...You are walking down the sidewalk on the lefthand side, I am walking like everyone else on this planet, on the righthand side. You refuse to move to yoru right out of my way and expect that me, walking appropriately, should counter all logic and move left even though there are people there or perhaps you feel I should scale the side of the building, but no I stop, I stand still and let you run into me so I can hate.

...You are a hipster doofus that has a skeletor body standing 6 foot 3 and insist on wearing extra small women's t-shirts. There is no need to show off your rib cage, I can't picture anyone, whatever you're into, finding this attractive, in fact I typically feel the urge to vomit when passing by, but instead I just hate.

...You are the size 3 people and see a seat open on the subway that can maybe fit 1 normal size person comfortably and attempt to park your fat ass down on the seat forcing both people on either side of you to now stand. I know, I know, that whole block that you are taking the subway is just too long for you to have to stand, after all you might burn an extra 5 calories by standing, instead you prefer to be hated by me.

...You work on a different floor than me and I need something you have, isntead of offering to interoffice it to me or have your assistant bring it to me, you tell me you will fax it to me. If you're going to fax it, you might as well scan it and email it to me, or physically walk it down to me or at least ask for me to come up to get it, I won't of course, but faxing something to another floor is the last option right before I hate you.

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