Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Teach a man to hate and he'll hate for a lifetime

...You over annunciate with your mouth when you speak. Please watch when I speak, subtle movement of my mouth. Now you look in the mirror when you speak, somehow I can see the back of your lips and why are you sticking your tongue out at me? Take a lesson in how to speak and I'll take a lesson on how not to hate you.

...You are on the phone with someone and are in the bathroom. Did I just hear a flush? This is multi tasking gone too far. It's okay to not answer the phone or tell someone you'll call them back, people surprisingly understand. Please allow the santimonious bathroom time to remain just that, instead of a breading ground of hate.

...You preach on the subway. I can't hate this enough. At one point in one's faith do they say to themselves, now, if I could only get on to some mass transportation system, open a bible and scream the scripture at unwanting suspects, well then, then I can really make a difference. But I won't dress respectfully, I'll make sure my clothes are torn and I don't wear my false teeth, that way I'll really connect rather than being hated.

...You are riding the subway and switch seats at every stop. Are you that ADD? what are you positioning yourself for here anyway? You're not any closer or farther from a door, you are just in my way getting hated everyday.

...You are obsessed with the temperature. Yes it was predicited to be 30, well now the mission is on to prove them wrong, if ever the temp says even one degree difference, well then "they" know nothing at all. They meaning weathermen and knowing nothing meaning being hated.

2 comments:

doc said...

Except for "Friday Night Hate" which has mysteriously disappeared, this is probably the best hate blog title yet. Nice work.

Doofi said...

friday night hate is still there, november 11. I'm intrigued by your taste, perhaps more scripture hate titles will appear