Friday, April 07, 2006

Haters in the Night

…You see me soimewhere and then come up to me and say, you’re always here. Listen tardo, in order for you to know I’m always here, you have to be here to see me, so tell me this, are you always here? Why even make the comment? What purpose does this serve, it’s not funny, it add no value other than hate.

…You start telling your fire drill stories when there is a fire drill at work. I know this is your prime time to hit on the ladies, asking if it was them that pulled the alarm, is this your best line? Are you trying to be cute or annoying? Just because we’re all standing around the lobby doesn’t mean we have to talk, we should all just stand around and hate.

…You sell me coffee that is so hot I have to wait 30 minutes before I can even drink it. I’m basically the crotchedy old lady that sued mcdonald’s for serving hot coffee. Yes I know coffee is supposed to be hot, but there is a difference between pleasureably drinkable and scold my toungue so I can’t taste food for a week. Just once I’d like to buy a coffee and actually be able to drink it right away, but no, I have to settle for hating you.

…You haven’t seen me in about 8 years, you don’t recognize me at all, then someone says who I am and I say hi, you, still not knowing who I am, then proceed to give me, the loud, oh my god how aaaarrrrrreeeee you. You don’t have to play make believe here, it’s okay to not remember, when we knew each other, I barely knew you and I barely liked you, but please take comfort in knowing that now I completely hate you.

…You tell a joke that is borderline offensive or insulting, then follow it up with “I’m just kidding”. Well no you weren’t, you meant every word of that and I can’t believe you would say such a thing, that could be the rudest thing anyone has ever said other than I hate you.

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