Thursday, May 04, 2006

I got a lust for hate

...You start 60 Minutes by saying, these stories and Andy Rooney. As if we realyl care about Andy Rooney whinning about how times have changed or how disappointed he is with America's youth or how perfectly he lives his life or how irrelevant and pointless he is or how much he is hated.

...You wear matching jean jacket and jeans. So what's with the jean suit? You do realize you are coordinating denim right? In fact, why are you wearing jean jacket and pants at all, you look ridiculous and you look hated.

...You drink cheap red wine that stains your teeth dark red. Oh god no please do not smile, don't you realize? Not only are you drinking an entire bottle of cheap wine, but you are drinking it at a bar and you are openning your mouth and your getting hated by me.

...You make athletic clothing and feel the need to have a pound of tags hanging off it. Oooohhhh, I see, it's dry fit, I couldn't tell just by looking at it or touching it, I need the novella you've attached to my shorts to tell me that, just like you need this blog to tell you that you are hated.

…You flip your tie over your shoulder when you are eating. Eat much? Try the fork and knife, cut your food, lift with fork, not hands, then place in your mouth, chew then swallow. Simple process that’s happening since the beginning of time. You inhale food, mouth to plate. Yes, occasionally something might fall of your fork, occasionally you may get a splash of salad dressing, but I’d rather have the occasional mishap than the frequent hate.

...You are a guy and have a bouncer "hookup" while smoking a butt. You stand outside smoking your butt and feel the need to have a conversation with the bouncer. This is the same bouncer that stares at your ID which says you are like 35 as if you are 19 trying to sneak in, but now that you've made it in, you're suddenly boys. Not only do you talk to him, but you insist on speaking about the sporting event of the day, because naturally the bouncer must care. You are sadly mistaken my friend, the bouncer does not care, like me, the bouncer hates.

...You are wearing sunglasses and think you can stare at people without them knowing. Yeah that only works if you don't move your head. You see, you can't turn you're entire body 180 degrees to look at that girl's butt without her hating you.

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