Monday, May 01, 2006

People you hate in heaven

...You are Sonic Youth and say ipods are the worst thing that happened to music. So I guess it's time to change your name to Sonic Out of Touch. Maybe they are the worst thing because now people don't have to buy an entire album of shit to listen to one song, which means you actually have to work and be creative to write music that won't make me hate you.

...You are Jesse Jackson. I've hated you before and I'll hate you again, stop showing up at every single protest or problem you are irrelevant and do more harm to a cause than good. Every time you show up everyone says to themself, here we go again and then they hate you.

...You are Susan Sarandon. Susan, susan, susan, pleeeeeease stay home the next time there's a protest, I'll even come over to hang out, keep your mind off things, we'll bake a cake. I mean I like you, I really do, I like your daughter too, even Tim, he's okay, I don't want to hate you....but must you two show up at every single protest? I know you're just tryin' to relive the 60's man, but it ain't gonna happen, sorry, but I hate you.

...You are Rush Limbaugh. You fucking hypocrite. You hate on every one that's not you for using drugs and as it turns out, you're more of an addict than anyone. You are like a priest that lambastes is parishioners for having sex or even shaking hands with the governor, meanwhile you're chasing the 10 yr old alter boys. Rush, you can go to hell, I wish you lost your voice instead of your hearing, but at least I can hate you.

...You are Pat Robertson. One word comes to mind, penis. You are a penis manifested in human form. I'm a little confused as to how your "church" can own a diamond mine in Africa. Aren't you supposed to be in the business of helping people? You know that whole thing about giving up all your worldly possessions, guess you missed that in the entire new testament, but hey without hypocritical assholes like you, I'd have no one to hate.

...You are Steven Spielberg. I'm on a crusade against this obnoxiously pretentious man and rotten movies. I want you to know that he thinks you're all complete idiots. I challenge you to watch one movie of his without having your intelligence insulted. Hey senior spielbergo, you don't have to have to have someone drink a glass of water and have their hand shake to tells us someone is nervous, it's annoying and it's hated.

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