Thursday, May 25, 2006

When I think about you I hate myself

...I invite you over to my apartment after a night out and I pass out in mid conversation on the couch. Honestly, who does this? What kind of a freak am I that I drink so much I can't even stay coherent enough to entertain a nice young lady, I only stay coherent enough to hate me.

...I call you and say, hey this Greg. Um retard, I think everyone on the planet has caller ID, such formalities have gone the way of the rotary phone, yet somehow I think people are unable to look at their phone and see my name come up, then I talk in the phone hear my hate come up.

...I write self indulgent blogs and don't even take the time to spell check or use proper grammer. I mean how lazy can I possibly be? That extra half a minute is just too long for me to wait, so instead, I'll have get hated.

...I go on and on about how healthy I eat and how I run 5 miles a day then I go out 3 nights a week and get completely inebriated and smoke a pack of cigarettes. Yeah loser, you'd probably be much better off just being a typical fat American rather than some tool that thinks he's healthy. I'm not fooling anyone here and I'm not avoiding hate here.

...I tell you how I only listen to "good" music, which of course is anything hipster doofus, then I secretly listen to Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne. So the cat is out of the bag, I've considered going as far as to change the names of the songs in my ipod so no one could know, I was too lazy to do that so I decied to go as far as to hate myself.

...I bullshit with you and tell you yeah we definately need to do something, I'll definately call you, yeah we'll definately do that. Yeah I'm kind of bullshit artist and come through maybe 8% of the time. I guess karma is having a great laugh at me when people tell me that and then hate me.

...I keep a guitar in my room to "impress" the ladies. Yeah I'll be damned if I ever actually play it. I use the pathetic tired line, I'm too drunk, because obviously that's the only way a girl is going to be in my room or is it that I'm just always drunk? Either way, it's pathetic and I'm hated.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought this one was one of your best ones. I especially love that you were changing song names in your iPod. Kelly and Avril... awesome. :)

Doofi said...

so I guess it's better to hate myself than it is to hate you...I concur