Thursday, June 15, 2006

Don't you wish your hate was hot like me

...You crash into my car on saturday night because you are an inept driver and ran a red light. Douchebag, I clearly had a green light, you clearly had a red light, how could you even try to tell the cop you had the right of way I WAS GOING STRAIGHT. Not only that, you tried to put your bumper in your back seat, clearly you are retarded and clearly you are hated.

...You are a "DJ" at a graduation party and play only music from circa 1991. Let's see, color me bad, ABC, BBD, boyz II men, you know the east coast family, wow I'm a tool, but I was about 13 when that shit came out, these kids were 18 now, they were born about then and you were hated about then.

...You throw a family party and try to hook me up with every single girl from 17 to 30 that is at the party, yet for some reason the only girl worth it was "the help". Is that wrong or is that just hated?

...You are a CT bar where last call is 2AM yet at 1:20 you turn the lights on and yell at everyone to leave. It's bad enough you stop serving, but what the hell is your point in throwing people out, why do people stand for that? Oh right because there's no where else to go, there's only hate.

...You own those Adidas sandels that are like spikes sticking into your feet and then let me borrow them to run out to my car. Yeah my feet are STILL in pain a week later, who wears these things and who doesn't hate you?

...You have a men's room and instead of urinals, you have a trough, not only that, it's back up and filled with piss and puke. It's like a viscious cycle, unsuspecting young man goes to piss, waits in line for 38 minutes, final gets to the promised land and sees this mess, throws up in the pissy puke, then hates you.

...You see me cooking in the sun for 3 hours and then say, oh you want some suntan lotion you're looking really red. Hmmm, well maybe 3 hours ago, now I'm full of cancer and now I hate you.

...You see me at work on Monday, I'm tan, and you ask the everpresent question, outside this weekend? why? why? why? why? Are you so incapable of making normal human conversation that you can't simply say oh nice tan what did you do this weekend or better yet, say nothing at all? But no, you are determined to be hated.

You insist on giving me the fist punch thing about 91 times a day, and if anything, I'm underestimating. Your disguise is obvious, this is a high five and this has become equally as hated.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love it when you're tan!