Sunday, June 25, 2006

How to Hate a woman in 10 minutes

...You are a girl that for some reason is introduced to me and now thinks she's my girlfriend for the night. You go into story mode within 4 seconds of me saying hello. I have no interest in speaking to you. You are so obviously on a boyfriend hunt, you scary scary annoying hated woman.

...You don't get the hint the first time I walk away from you in a bar. No it was not a matter of circumstance, it was intentional, leave me alone or I shall hate you.

...You corner me in a bar and start in with your one time at band camp stories. Let's see how can I get this guy to like me, I know...this one time, I was at band camp, and someone fucking hated me.

...You tell me that smoking is bad when I say I'm going for a cigarette to get away from you. You did scare me for a minute when I thought you were going to come with me, notice how I didn't ask? That's an escape path. If that wasn't enough, my rude obnoxious response to your obnoxious comment should have been another clue that I hate you.

...You find me in a bar after my smoke break that I would have taken even if I didn't smoke. Why are you telling me a story about how you don't like your roommate becaue she's always banging someone. Your roommate sounds awesome, where is she because I hate you.

...You follow me to the other end of the bar when I suddenly walk away from you mid sentence because I just can't take it anymore. I don't go out drinking to listen to more pointlessness, I go out drinking to get away from it and avoid hating you.

...You try yet another angle by bringing up the yeah yeah yeahs and franz ferdinand. Um yeah, that's like soooooooo 2003, beat it. Maybe if you brought up something current I would have told you politely that I'm not interested instead of running away hating you.

...You find me when I went to sit at a random table in the corner to hide from you. WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO? Maybe I should have spit in your face, this isn't a date, I don't know you, a dude walks away from you about 19 times and you don't get that he hates you?????

...You find me at the bar next door when I had to escape your claws. Um yeah I'm busy hitting on 22 yr olds here, get away from me, oh thanks for ruining everything for me, you ma'am are a train wreck and I hate you.

...You are maaaaaaybe a 3 and think we are in the same dating circle. I'm not trying to say I'm an adonis at all, but seriously you have to face it, you have a horrid personality, you are not attractive, you have no boobs, you have a back with a line rather than an ass, you are casper and you are hated.

1 comment:

doc said...

wow...good weekend?