Thursday, June 08, 2006

This one goes out to the one I hate

...You are the same name of the person I make up when crashing a party. Um yeah, I'm a friend of Petey, oh yeah, hey Pete get over here did you invite this doofus to MY party or did he just become hated.

...You are the naked man at the gym with the unimaginably small penis that felt the need, to stand bare ass in the middle of the locker room as if you were proud of your womanhood. Dude, if you really are one, that is not a thing of pride, I'm embarassed for you and I'm hating you.

...You are at a baseball game and there's a pop up, you stand up and scream as if it's a home run and then it's caught by the second baseman. I just don't know how one can make this mistake, even if you are the guido's girlfriend from staten island that has no clue about baseball, you should still not be so hated by me.

...You say drug use causes violent crime. You know why? BECAUSE ITS FUCKING ILLEGAL. If it was legal, you wouldn't have thug dealers selling to children and shooting each other, instead you'd have rich white guys selling to children and suing each other, isn't that what you want anyway? Do I have to solve all the world's problems or can I just hate you?

...You refer to famous people by their first names as if you know them personally. Just because you read every trash magazine and know more about people that don't give two shits about you, doesn't mean you can act like you know Brad and Ben and Jen and me hating you.

...You are Yankee stadium and are still playing that god damn cotton eye joe song. Is it so fucking impossible to come up with something new after 10 years? Even your stupid blooper reel is the same and the same stupid people still make the ouch sound when Tommy Lasorda falls, well he's going to fall the next time you go to a game, and you're going to be hated at the next game.

...You are the department of homeland hate and feel the need to cut terrorist defense funding by 40% for NY so that you can protect corn fields in Iowa. No offense to the good corn growers of Iowa, but seriously, you're entire state's population fits into my office building. No terrorist is looking to bomb vegetables that we pay farmers not to grow. They're looking to hurt people, where are there people? oh right NYC. I don't see the logic, but I do see the HATE.

1 comment:

doc said...

welcome back to the hate and nice dedication style title today.