Monday, July 03, 2006

Beach Blanket Hate

...You are at the beach and walk away and ask me to watch your stuff. Sure, I'll watch your stuff, that radio, mine, that wallet, mine, that cooler of cold ones, mine, that hate, so you.

...You strut around the beach in your bikini with your muffin tops hangin out. When will chubby girls realize they are fat? Put that thing away, you are gross, you are hated.

...You are getting up from the beach and shake off your towel with out any consideration of other people being present. You know I was just thinking, I haven't had enough sand in my face lately, I thank you for fulfilling that need and I thank you for fulfilling my hate.

...You are the cougars from the beach. Hey 38 yr old single women, there's a reason why you're still single, you are catty, you are obnoxious, you are not so hot anymore, and of course, you are hated.

...You are the cougars from the beach and couldn't handle it when my sister, who is at least 5 years yonger than you, came by with her son, the son you all wish you add but now can't have because the moment you see a guy you instantly try to make him your husband even if he is 15 years younger than you and hates you.

...You are the cougars from the beach that don't understand the purpose of sunscreen. Yeah dark leather skin...not so attractive on 38 yr old women, sorry. Lucky for me, I'm a dude, we can be 187 and still look all right, you, well you jumped the shark and are of coure hated.

...You are me an refuse to ever wear sunscreen and now definately have skin cancer, spend 3 days baking in the sun, drinking beer, not eating, come home at 11 on Sunday and instantly begin to blog the courgars you were hating all weekend.

...You email me on Sunday afternoon on 4th of July weekend about work. Yeah maybe you didn't get the memo, this is the week of ME. My last week of being a 28 yr old, then come saturday night/sunday morning, I'm 29. I don't work this week...ever. I only hate.

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