Saturday, July 01, 2006

Rock out with your Hate out

...You are a rock star and think you are a cowboy. What is it with every rock star and their obsession with being cowboys? You are not cowboys, you may wear pants that way too tight, but you're from NJ or Detrois or Long Island, no cows there my man, there's only my hate for you.

...You are a lead singer in a band and at some point ask your guitarist to "talk" to you with his guitar. Um, tlaking, right, that might have been a witty think to say in 1973, after that it's not witty, it's only hated.

...You are at a concert and at some point in the "rockin" song you punch for fist in the air. Yeah that's it reach for the stars, your a champ, maybe nod your a head a bit in agreement with those profound lyrics like "I want to rock" or "I want to hate you".

...You have a fade out in your song. You're still doing this? Are you Buddy Holly? It's okay to just end the damn the song, there's no radio play for the annoying DJ to chyme about this weekends drink special at a cheesy a bar where I'll hate you.

...You actually sing the fade out in concert. I'm speechless because I hate you.

...You hold up your lighter at a slow song. No, no, no. This isn't even okay if you are doing as a joke, it maaaay have been funny circa 1984, but man, it's 2006. The only acceptable place to hold the lighter up is if the Scorpions had a reunion tour and played winds of change, and the camera is panning the crowd, then and only then. Oh yes there must also be a girl wearing a Motley Crue T-shirt with a freyed bottom, no bra who then lifts up her shirt to get hated.

...You make a comment such as "I don't care what anyone tells you about why they got into music, the only reason they did was to get chicks". I think about 1000 different people have said this, do you think we would have only heard this once and you've come up with some expose of the truth behind music? You're an idiot and you're hated.

...You think I'm a total hypocrite because I have two guitars sitting in my room, always have lighters at concerts, own cowboys boots, have a favorite band that uses the fade out, punch my fist in the air when I hear Kelly Clarkson, do the stupid head bang thing when I'm "rockin out" and frequent cheesy bars where I hate you and myself.

No comments: