Friday, July 14, 2006

She don't eat meat, but she sure loves the hate

...You are in a movie expecting big news, the phone rings, everyone in the room is on the edge of their seat, but you being such a hilarious prankster, play it cool, pretend it's bad news, then you hang up the phone, you look disappointed, then in a sudden burst of energy shout the good news, the room cheers and you become hated.

...You are still using cliche situations in movies or awful sitcoms. This is why I can't sit through the garbage that's made, yet for some reason I leave the TV on when I'm home, get sucked into the same story being told for 8000th time, then I run to the computer and blog how much I hate you.

...You are riding the subway, your stop is next, but we're not even close yet, you for some reason think it's time to stand up and start heading to the door even though there is zero room. Not only are fighting through crowds of people to leave the train 3 seconds before everyone else, but you can't even keep your balance, now I have your sweaty armpits in my face and you have my hate in your face.

...You begin to cross the street as the light is about to turn green in the direction that will cause you to get hit by the cars. Not only that, but you are walking completely oblivious to the fact that cars are about to hit you, and not only that, you are pushing a baby stroller, and not only that but you are not even rushing to cross the street because the world needs to stop just for you and not only that, but I hate you.

...You are at the gym well after peak hours, someone is on a cardio machine for about 35 minutes, you for some reason think the 30 minute limit applies until closing, so you decide to stand behind the person (a cute girl mind you) and just stare. 5 more minutes go by, you start tapping your foot, another 5 minutes go by and you finally say something to her to get off the machine, even though 3 others have opened up since, she looks at you and laughs at you, then the people on either side laugh at you, then manager laughs at you, then I hate you.

...You are the tool that lives in the apt below me and complains about us walking in the apartment. Never mind playing bongo drums at 2 in the morning, but walking is just too much. You don't even complain like a normal person, you ask, so you guys walking around up there? WHAT? So are you breathing down there? So are you guys hating up there?

...You expect me to get everything done before I leave for vacation. So if I want a vacation, I have to work twice as much to make up for the week off, is that how this goes? What the hell is the point of the vacation? I'm saving lives here, I'm hating here.

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