Thursday, August 17, 2006

These are a few of my favorite hates

Shit stains on sidewalks; small dogs in large purses
Eating Chicken on subways; a homeless man's curses
Girls that won't drink on horrid first dates
These are a few of my favorite hates

Naked men at the gym; retarded Starbucks sizes
Sneeze guards over salads; taking free samples like prizes
Farting right next to me as though we are mates
These are a few of my favorite hates

When the phone rings
When you're peeing
When this I'm seeing
I simply remember my favorite hates
Then I start to seethe so bad

Tourists in Time Square; walk slow when I'm there
Stupid questions at work; saying I'm losing my hair
Yelling into cell phones makes me irate
These are a few of my favorite hates

Calling things cherry; voicemails that don't end
Blackberries in movies; emails you should not send
Causing foot traffic may not make me late
But that is my absolute favorite hate

When the boss calls
When I see your balls
When my car stalls
I simply remember my favorite hates
Then I start to seethe sooooooooo bad

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice poem....

Doofi said...

well it's a song from sound of music, I'm not that creative....but thank you and don't ask why I'm writing a parody of a showtune

jj said...

I'm impressed with your knowledge of showtunes...does someone have a secret?

Doofi said...

wisearse....it's called having an older sister and knowing certain people obsessed with broadway musicals....i swear.