Monday, October 09, 2006

People are hated When you're a hater

...You are practicing playing your recorder as you wait at a crosswalk. I'm walking home from work, this guy gets to a crosswalk and has to wait, what does he, what else? He pulls out his recorder from his suit jacket and starts jamming and this guy was fantastic. The light changed to WALK, he put the recorder back into his suit jacket and I hated.

...You are walking down the sidewalk wearing a viking hat (the kind with horns) and bright purple viking cape, like the football team viking. So are you a vikings fan? I can't tell, but no matter now much you love the vikings, you should be aware that your level of love for the vikings is not even a fraction of my level of hate for you.

...You are the guy that was walking with our Viking fan friend in regular street clothes as though it is perfectly normal to see a grown man wearing a purple cape and horned hat. How empty must one's life be to go through such lengths to wear this costume to "support" his team at a bar where the players can't see him? How angry and pathetic must I be to talk the time to meticulously hate you.

...You refer to clothing that someone is wearing as "street clothes". What makes clothes street clothes? Anything other than a uniform? I'm confused because you can wear anything on a street, just like you can hate anything on a street.

...You are my father that was driving me to the train and had to leave over an hour before the train was even due to arrive even though the station is only 15 minutes away. While a short drive, you proceed to start driving in the complete opposite direction from where we needed to go because "we had time". We had so much time, that I still managed to barely make the train, and I still managed to hate.

...You have a myspace page and are over the age of 22. Um those 794 friends are in actuality 5 people you know in real life, 5 famous people, 4 people you knew from childhood and 780 stalkers. I'm among the hated here, but only out of a sociology experiment to try and figure out the point of all of this and of course to promote my hate of you.

...You are over the age of 22 and have some quiz on myspace about likes and dislikes and if you ever got fingered and if you ever liked someone from history class and if you ever made out in public and if you have pubic hair and if you are really a 47 year old man in dark sunglasses that parks his car by the entrance to school and if you are really hated by me.

...You have a myspace page and have so much shit on there that the page can never load and eventually freezes your computer at which point you force me to restart and lose the hate I've been writing because I god forbid I should hit save. Come on people, you put a couple pictures up, you make your little background pink and then you get hated.

...You have a myspace page and you have pornstars for "friends". So what are you trying to say here? You enjoy jerking off to these women or do you actually think you're friends? I'm sorry to tell you they are in this to make money, just like that stripper that's extra nice to you, the hot waitress or the hot lesbian bar tender, they're nice to you because they have to be. I've got news for you though, I'm not in it to make money, I'm here to hate you.

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