Tuesday, January 09, 2007

See no evil, hear no hate

...You come into my office and just sit there. Yes, may I help you? Do you have something to say, for us to work on or anything of any value to me? Nay, I think not. Please be cognizant of the fact that I am extremely busy here, extremely busy working on how much I hate you.

...You just hang up the phone when you’ve said what you are going to say rather than saying “thanks” or “bye” or “speak to you later”. You in that much of a rush that you can’t utter the unimportant common courtesy that us in the real world say to each other? I don’t even really care or even like you, it’s a simple thing civilized people say out of respect for the other person on the phone indicating that the conversation is over. You on the other hand are not civilized, you are hated.

...You have your initials monogrammed on your shirt. Hey, it’s Thornton J. Wilcott III, TJW for short. It’s imperative that we all know your initials, after all, how else would we know you are a wasp? I know, I know, you are a mr. big time stock trader man with your big time money job, so let the what other way is there to let the world know you are rich, you are respected and that you are hated?

...You wear a class ring. Wow, that’s impressive, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen an alum from Eastern Appalachia State University, you must be proud. What’s that? Oh it only took you 9 years to finish, pretty good there Einstein, I am proud and you are hated.

...You walk by my office and see my diligently working at my computer hate blogging, and give me a the stare down. Yes I am in my office typing away being productive, what are you doing? Yep, you’re roaming the halls, tell me who is more productive? I know when you come by at 5:45 to see if I’m still here and only find an empty, locked office you get a feeling of emptiness inside but that quickly subsides when you run and tell the boss that you are hated.

...You call a meeting and expect me to run it. You called the meeting, I show up, yet I’m expected to start the meeting, give a presentation, analysis, a plan of action and finally adjourn the meeting. Perhaps I’m a little confused but I thought when you call a meeting you are to speak first? Do you call people on the phone and sit in silence waiting for the other person to do the talking even though it was you that called? I don’t think so. Do I log on to my computer to hate you? I think so.

...You think we are best friends because I held an elevator door for you. Your impression of this experience is akin to that of pledging a fraternity, we’re now brothers, elevator brothers, we’ve been through so much together you feel you can just share any story with me so we can have ourselves a good chuckle on the ride to the second floor. Listen buddy, all I did was accidentally hit the door open button rather than the door close button when I saw you approach. I’m not at all interested in hearing your war stories of people running for elevator doors, I’m only interested in hearing about how much I hate you.

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