Monday, July 16, 2007

Ooooo Baby I hate your way, everyday

...You call me to come into your office, I come in and sit down, the moment I sit down, you pick up the phone to call someone. You know, I get it, you’re important, you make a lot more money than me, that’s okay, because you’re 60. Ha ha let’s make the young guy be my little bitch. Oh hey, I see how this works you need something, I go to you, then its nevermind go back to your desk, then you call me again to come to your office only to make me sit there for an hour while you send emails and while I hate you.

...You are the advertising department for Lipitor. I understand Richard Jarvic is a genius and all, but he really belongs on dateline. Does this guy even know how to blink? The stoic stare into the camera is one of molesters, not scientists. Not to mention they only show his commercials during dateline, it’s NBC’s little joke. This is a creepy creepy man, I’m not taking health advice from him, so put him back behind the microscope and let the normal non molesters get hated.

...You send me an email full of garbage and end it with “I hope this clears up all your questions”. If by clear up you mean not even sure this is a written language let alone English, then yes it is perfectly clear. I can appreciate that you think in retard, but when it comes time to communicate your thoughts, you must, you absolutely must translate into something that anyone with an IQ over 70 can understand so that anyone with an IQ over 70 doesn’t have to hate you.

...You compliment my girlfriend on her dress and how great she looks, then turn to me and say, wow, good for you, nice job. Ok so you are telling me that I’m some sort of horrible monster and that she’s way to hot for me. While she is much hotter than I, give a man some credit here, I’m not quasimoto, I’m a fairly attractive individual and I have do have a decent track record of hating you.

...You are a guest speaker at a conference and when discussing your background, you just happen to mention that your kids go to prep school. But not just any prep school, a very very expensive prep school, but you don’t stop there, you also manage to bring up that you have 3 BMWs, your last vacation was to the Maldives, you have a Spanish speaking gardener and a very small penis. What the fuck are you insecure about that you have to brag about your alleged fortunes to a bunch of twentysomething kids that will never see you again in their lives? We get it, by the time you’ve reached 50 or 60, you’ve managed to make some cash, but you’ve also managed to make a lot of hate.

...You are bald on the top of your head, yet you still choose to have a mullet in the back. Some might call this a skullet. I know it must be hard to let the dream die, the dream of having a full head of hair. It’s tough to watch your youth literally go down the drain, but face the facts mandingo, you are bald, just shave it off for if you don’t you will be destined to a life of pool hall cougars with a deeper voice than you and a deeper hate for you.

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