Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Are you gonna hate my way

...You are “protesting” something you support. This is a more recent phenomenon where people go to protest the war or the sitting president, which by all means is expected, but then oddly, there is somewhat of a mystery where people show up to these ‘protests’ to do what I don’t really know, but it appears as though they are protesting the protesters or perhaps protesting their own support? This is a fairly ridiculous concept given that the people to whom the president is speaking are deemed to be supporters already so why are you outside with placards showing your support, when in actuality you should be at home getting hated?

...You are a ski nazi. Yes a little off season, but think back if you will, think back to early February, you’re up in Vermont, you have a house with a few people, you stay up the night before having a few beverages, it’s cold outside, you want to sleep in a little, even if it’s just to 8 or 9, hit the mountain by 11 or so. Nope. Can’t happen with the ski nazi who’s up at 630, fully dressed by 645, clunking around the house in his ski boots by 650, in your room yelling by 655 and hated by 7.

...You call a service provided by a company, diabolical. So they now have a plan for world domination? Do you even know what that means? Do you know how to use a dictionary? I think perhaps you mean abdominal, detestable or deplorable, but diabolical? It is now apparent to me that it is true that you never went to college, I’m even doubting high school. I mean have ever even seen a movie or a cartoon? Perhaps that’s too advanced for your tiny little brain, but the only thing about diabolical that you will see is hate.

...You schedule an interview with me and then show up 20 minutes late. Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re the one that called me to meet, you are the one courting me, yet you can’t even have the decency to show up on time? You’re definitely starting of on the wrong foot here, have you ever heard of first impressions? It’s not all about me impressing you old man, that’s the stone age. I want you to wow me, how’s that for a reverse cliché and how’s that for hating you.

...You are not paying attention to your local starbucks barrista when they are calling out that your order is ready. Its coffee, they’re not baking you a cake, it takes all of about 19 seconds, is that too fucking long for you to pay attention? Now you’re holding up the line so the rest of us drones have to wait even longer for our coffee, but you don’t have to wait to get hated.

...You cc yourself. Better make sure you send that email to yourself, because if you didn’t you might actually have to go into your sent folder to find it. You’re probably the same people that delete every email after they’ve printed it for their paper files. You really haven’t caught on to this whole technology-internet thing have you? It’s little difficult for that tiny brain of your to comprehend, it’s also difficult for that tiny brain of yours to comprehend me hating you.

...You fart in an elevator as you exit and I enter. Great! Now I’m riding solo here and everyone that gets on at a different floor will think I’m the culprit. I can’t believe you just gave me a leave behind. What an awkward moment when I’m standing there smelling that rotten odor, knowing it was not me yet other people are now staring me down because they can’t believe I would do such a thing. Now I have to somehow start a conversation and then somehow convince them it was not me. This is typically done under my breathe while I hate you.

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