Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You take my hate away

...You are the people that can’t seem to make flat front pants whose pockets don’t stick out. Yes I get it, I have what one might call larger legs, but I can assure you when you run 5 or so miles a day, you’re legs tend to be a bit on the muscular side, but that doesn’t I have to accept that my pockets will stick out or else I have to wear fat boy pants, now does it? All you need to do is slightly change the angle of the pocket and presto, no more sticking out and no more hating of you.

...You sign your name to an email using only your initials and yet somehow still spell this wrong. Apparently knowing three letters is just too difficult. The worst part is that the letters aren’t even close on the keyboard, so typos are not an excuse, it’s as though you had to consciously think about the letters of your name and then actually get that wrong after which you actually get yourself hated.

...You an order of coffees on the counter and throw a tray at me when I order multiple coffees at starbucks and ask that my coffees be placed IN a tray so that I might be able to carry the scolding hot beverages. Instead of filling my order and placing the cups into the tray, you put the coffees on the counter and throw the tray at me. it’s like that extra work of having to aim the coffees when you place them down is just too strenuous for you. God forbid we make your life any more complicated than it has to be. Why don’t you try drinking some of that liquid crack you serve, then maybe you’d get off your fat ass and only then, maybe you’d get off my hate.

...You sit directly behind me in a movie theater and insist on continually kicking my seat. Thank you, I’ve been looking to employ someone like you to come to my house and kick my seat while I’m trying to watch TV, I’m also looking for someone to do the same while I’m at the office. This would really make my day a little easier and little more pleasant, better yet, what do you say I come to your house and your office and continually kick your seat? But no, I won’t do this, I’ll just turn around and give you a stare, then give you a hate.

...You are annoyed with someone either talking in a movie, walking 7 people horizontally on a sidewalk, paying with pennies or even the salmon like Mexican guy trying to enter a subway car before anyone exits, and rather than speak up to any of these offenders, you huff under your breathe and give them the staring of a lifetime, you know the evil eye, then you run home and write about it in your blog thinking that the offenders may someday read said blog and correct their behavior, but instead everyone just remains hated.

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